dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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