What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
