we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Just pee around me
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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