If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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