id be glad to
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
