so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
