Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
