hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I smell stomach acid.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
