You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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