we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
