They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
