yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Randomize
