the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
