I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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