hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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