Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Randomize
