I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
