I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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