ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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