do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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