Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
