I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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