You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
