Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
