if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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