It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
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