I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
