so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
