he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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