The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
In other news, I just burned my penis
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
