Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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