The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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