she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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