A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
