I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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