Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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