He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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