no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
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