Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
