I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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