And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
