summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
