So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
