I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
