The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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