I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize