I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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