your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
