i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
