How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize