I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I love you. Go after that dick
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
