she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
he had hair everywhere except his balls
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Randomize
