WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
