you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
