actually, I'm a sock model
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I deserve to be covered in dicks
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
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