The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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