I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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