ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize