Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize