they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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