I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
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