Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize