You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
