If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
